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The Break-up

We have all had experiences from which we have learned but some of them are more significant and more painful than others. I will never forget that autumn. It was Thursday when we skipped classes and went for a walk. The two of us were standing in an empty subway station, late in the afternoon. Stunned, she sat down shakily and buried her face in her hands and couldn`t believe what she had just heard. A perfect silence stood between us and none of us dared say something. Her name was Noa.

Her green eyes blinked rapidly and started searching for mine. That perfect moment of silence just ran away when she decided to speak out: “Why?”. For a moment I couldn`t say a word, my mind was full of thoughts and I had so much to tell her but didn`t know how. I felt the sadness in her eyes and suddenly i cleared my mind : “Because it`s better to stop now…for both of us”. We were lost in a cloud of confusion waiting for someone to solve things up. After a while the subway station began to fill up with men that were walking among us. All the way back home time seemed to have stopped, we just stood there staring at each other, trying to understand why we broke up.

The next day I decided to call her and ask her out. I felt she deserved an explanation regarding the things I had said the day before. There I was in her favourite coffee bar, standing right next to her trying to come up with some fake reason and never thinking about telling her what was the main problem that I had. So I began to lie and say stupid things just to upset her, like the fact that she didn`t care about me or that she didn`t seem to trust me.

We never spoke again and I`m sure she was not able to forgive me for what I had done. The last thing I remember is the picture of me sitting alone in that coffee bar watching her running away from me…

Surely now I know it was wrong of me to say something like that, and I am sorry for doing so… I wanted to be with her but I couldn`t and I don`t know why. Just because I wasn`t brave enough to tell her the truth I lost her and the good friend she might have been to me but after all I learned a lot from this experience !